As far as drinking is concerned, I'm sorry, but nothing ain't got shit on the proper fucking British boozer. I see office fags on the high streets drinking some fancy fucking Czech, Mexican or Chinese beer because it's fucking foreign and fucking exotic, but guess what - it's still shit, and has nothing on ale, or in simple language for any lager drinking nancy boys out there - real beer. As for anything else, which girl wants to fuck a guy that drinks cocktails? Fucking bum boys I tell you. Will be the downfall of the Empire.
Anyway, in a proper fucking London fucking pub, everyone's got their pub names. I shit you not son, past and present customers at the pub I work at include Mad Frank, Pervy John, John the Fireplace, Antiques Ken, Mark and Stuart, and my personal favourite Evil Stare Guy (he's Belgian). A while back we had the pleasure of barring (that means banishing out unwanted wankers you fags) Pervy John, who was a first class cunt. As we sit back and remember him, here are some of his classic phrases:
Pervy John (to barman): So which one of your sisters would look better on the end of my cock?
Pervy John (to barmaid): So when do I get to inseminate all over your tits?
(Doesn't even make proper fucking sense).
Pervy John (to me for fuck's sake): You know, if you were wearing girls' clothes I could probably knock one out over you.
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