'That's the main problem with the Trident Drizzler you see,' postulates Dave as he clambers out of the shower scratching his greying whiskers. 'With the T400 you don't get this kind of limescale build-up, but with older models I'm afraid things aren't so jazzy.' The latest in a long line of unwashed householders stares at him blankly.
'How has my Eton education left me such a wet spanner?' Dave soliloquises as he restores the dripping tools to the Berlingo. And so he pooters along through Hammersmith on his way to the next job sighing as he passes a snake of voters outside a polling station. Alas! So many painful memories, so many heart-wrenching visions of what could of been!
'Fucking fuck!' concludes Gordon as he fumbles around for the tap. Having never quite become accustomed to blindness he has just taken a shit in the bath for the second time in a week. Downstairs Sarah is again twisting the knife in the Ed Balls voodoo doll to no avail.
Nick on the other hand stretches his feet out over the desk at No. 10. He is on the line to Mark Zuckerberg and Myspace Tom to thank them for their unwavering support in his successful second campaign. Vince meanwhile downloads pictures of women in varying states of undress, their modesty preserved only by the occasional pocket calculator.
ARTWORK (FROM TOP) -
MARTIN DI GIROLAMO, GODDESS 13, 2006-7
MARTIN DI GIROLAMO, TIGER, 2006-7
MARTIN DI GIROLAMO, SOLA ON HORSE, 2006-7
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